Jokes, Facts, Thoughts by Prasad.K.M

[prasadkm]

A man was praying to god. He said, "God?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the Guy said, "Can i ask a question?"
"Go right ahead", God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
The man wondered.
Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said,
"Sure!.......just a second."

http://www.tamiltorrents.net/forums/showthread.php?t=18762
http://www.tamiltorrents.net/forums/showthread.php?t=18761

[prasadkm]

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/9437/vadivelu1gr9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/9379/vadivelu2ia4.jpg (http://imageshack.us)


Pulikesi Fans: We Want Sixer! We Want Sixer! We Want Sixer!

23m Pulikesi: Ennathu!! Sixera!!!! Ithu footballra..ithule six yellam adika mudiyaathu!! Seriya adalayna stretcher thaan..!!

Pulikesi Fans: We Want Stretcher!We Want Stretcher!

http://www.tamiltorrents.net/forums/showthread.php?t=18761
http://www.tamiltorrents.net/forums/showthread.php?t=18762

[Sirnapper]

lolz, good one

[sri_kumar]

Prasad that is a good one dude.

[fallen_angel0]

omg that was hilarious. So clever.

[prasadkm]

Let me start with a Thathuvam
(In Rajinikanth's style)
Kanna....Aalu Round'a irunthaa mattum pothaathu
All rounder'a irrukanum

Aoccdrnig to rseearch at an elingsh uinervtisy it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey ltteer by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

GOD DOES HAVE SENSE OF HUMOUR....
A man was praying to god. He said, "God?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the Guy said, "Can i ask a question?"
"Go right ahead", God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
The man wondered.
Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said,
"Sure!.......just a second."

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IN THIS WORLD BECAUSE IMPOSSIBLE ITSELF SAYS THAT “I’M POSSIBLE”

EXAM"S ARE LIKE GIRL FRIENDS:
1.TOO MANY QUESTIONS.
2.DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND.
3.MORE EXPLANATION IS NEEDED
4.RESULT IS ALWAYS "FAIL".

Just read on:
1)Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday. Always just enough to fit the newspaper
2)Dont worry if someone tells you that the world is gonna end today....Its already Tomorrow in Australia
3)Having one child makes u a parent...Having two makes u a referee
4)Marriage is a relationship in which one person is alwayz right
and the other person is the wife
5)Smoking helps u lose weight, one lung at a time

I read in newspaper that sending Msgs(in cells) produces radiation that causes cancer so i have decided to stop ...reading newspaper

Newtons law of Romance "Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
it can only be changed from one heart to another heart with some loss of
time

When u r in light, everyone will follow u
but when u r in darkness, even ur own shadow will not follow u

Tamil dubbed movies
The mummy returns - Aatha thirumbi varango
The spider man - Ettukal elumalai
The Mission Impossible - Idhu aavarathillai
Men In Black - Karuva pasanga
Hollow man - Ottayandi

A husbands friend says to him that "ur wife is deaf"
he gets scared...and goed to the top floor of his house and asks his
wife "Is the Dinner ready"
No response from her..
Then he goes to the second and then first floor and asked the same
Still no reponse
Then he went near her and asked the same....
The wife replied "I said 'no' four times"

Thiruvaluvar's kural no 1331
Nee Nokum ponnu unnai Nokaavidil Nee
NOkia vaithu enna payan

A theif comes to steal a house....
the house owner saw him and fighted with him..
The theif tied him in a chair and also shuts his mouth with a cloth
After the theif was done looting...
The owner tried to say something...
So the theif just removed a cloth from his mouth on a condition that
if he shouts then he will kill u
The house owner said to the theif "U have taken all that i had...
I will consider this as my fate...the house opposite to this
Ramaswamy's house...While going just go to his house also and go"
To which the theif replied "I already went there..He only asked me to
go to ur house!!"

Hi, i have a good news and a bad news for u
The bad news is that there is no good news &
The good news is that there is no bad news

Every bad situation will have something positive.......
Even a stopped clock will show correct time twice a day

World is round
Round is zero
zero is nothing
so Nothing is life

Beware of marriage
Life b4 marriage is Airtel- "U can express urself"
After marriage is reliance- "Always get in touch"
After honey moon is hutch - "Wherever u go, ur wife's network follows u"
But after 10 yrs is BSNL - "subscriber is not reachable"

Expansion of LOVE
'L'-Look 4
'O'-Observe 3
'V'-Verify 2
'E'-Elect 1
Marry none

Old friends are like Gold
New Friends are like Diamond
If u get diamond, dont forget the gold
Because Gold only hold diamond

A Engineer,a Politician,a Lawyer were brought to the entrance of the
Heaven.
First the angel who brought them let the Lawyer in to heaven.
Engineer asked "why did u let him first?...He has saved many culprits
from getting punishments"

Angel didnt reply. Then she let the Politician into the heaven...
Engineer asked "why did u let him into the heaven...He has done many
crimes...he has cheated the innocent public"

Angel replied nothing. She then asked him to come with her to Hell.
Engineer asked "Why r u taking me there. I have invented many good
things for the public"
Angel replied "U can create ur own heaven there whereas others cant"

Time table for Boys
Mon - Watch girl
Tue - Love
Wed - Marriage
Thu - Honeymoon
Fri - Divorce
Sat - Take rest
Sun - Search next

What is the secret of success? "Right decisions"
How do u make right decisions? "Experience"
How do u get experience? "Wrong decisions"

Some Indian cricketers email ID
Zaheer - zaheer@yorker.com
Agarkar - neverfindaplace@indianteam.com
Balaji - www.goodballnowickets.com
Ganguly - comments@sms.com
Kumble - good@testmatch.com
Harbhajan - dhoosra@complaint.com
Kaif - dive@ground.com
Sachin - injury@operation.com
sehwag - stiking@fewmatch.com
Indian Fans - always@tension.com
Captain - always@pressure.com
Indian coach site - www.wastingenergy.com
Total Indian Team site - www.whenwillitwin.com

Professor - Fools ask so many questions every day which makes a
wise man go mad
Student - U r absolutely right sir we go thro' similar situation during VIVA

(Really awesome one...)
The Russians dug 1000 ft in the ground and found copper wire, They declared Russians had electricity 1000 yrs back
US dug and found Optical fibre, and said US had telepphone
2000 yrs back
Indians dug, found nothing, Then said we had wireless communication
technology 5000 yrs back

Computer commands in Tamil
Save - vechiko
save as - aiye apdiyae vaechiko
Save all - Alaathium vaechiko
Find - Thedu
Find again - Inoru thaba Thedu
Move - Jaga vangu
Zoom - persa kaatu
Open - Thora naina
Close - Pothiko
Replace - Itha thooki apdikaa podu, atha thooki ipdikaa podu
Cut - Veti kadaasu
Paste - Ottu
Paste special - Nalla echa thottu ottu
Compress - Amuki podu
Drag and hold - Nalla isthu pudi
Do u want to delete sselected item? - Maiyaalumae thookidavaa?
Access Denied - Kai vecha keesiduven

Ganguly: En paer Sourav, Mullu paer Sourav Ganguly
Ganguly's Doctor : Ivarala 15 nimishathukku maela entha pitchlayum batting panna mudiyaathu. Yaro ivar thalaila Vaegama ball pottu thakiyirukaanga. Ivar Oru "Short Term Batting Loss" patient

Life is So simple
When NASA began launch of astrounauts in space, they found that the pen wouldnt work at 0 gravity (ink wont flow down to writing surface). It took them 1 decade and 12 million $ to solve this problem. They developed a pen that worked at 0 gravity, upside down, under water,on practically any surface including crystal & in temperature from below freezing to over 300 degrees celcius...and what did the Russians do? They used a Pencil

A student's declaration at the end of the answer paper....
"I hereby declare that the answers written above are true to the best of my friend's knowledge"

U know one thing....today is a gift to u
Thats why it is called "PRESENT"
(past, present, future)

"Indraya (A)lachiyam Naalaya (E)maatram"
Read this carefully. It has two meanings about life

Amazing anatomy
1) Human bones can be as strong as it can lift a whole bus.
2) Human eye is the only multifocus lens in the world which can adjust in two milli seconds
3) If all the nerves in the human body are joint head to head, It will be so long that it can ratate the earth once.
4) Human brain is most powerful computer which has the processing speed of 3000+ GHz

College based on Film Titles
Class: Ali baabavum 40 thirudargalum
Principal: Malabar police
HOD : Anniyan
Staff : Padikkaadhavan
College campus : sirai chalai
College bus : Sundera travels
Exam : Arinthum ariyaamalum
Arrear : puriyaatha puthir

The loser says "its possible but its difficult"
The winner says " its difficult but its possible"

Why do students fail in exams?
Because eight hrs of sleep a day =122 days (365-122=243)
summer holidays=61 days (243-61=182)
sundays in a year =52 days (182-52=130)
festival holidays = 40 days(130-40=90)
3 hrs of daily playing = 46 days(90-46=44)
winter holidays = 15 days (44-15=29)
1 hr of chatiing per day = 15 days (29-15=14)
sickness days/yr = 10 days(14-10=4)
Film time in a year = 3 days
Remaining 1 day is their happy birthday

What is the difference between love and arranged marriage....
The first one is a perfect suicide...
And the next is a planned murder

Love and friend are walking in village...
Love falls into a well.why? Bcoz love is blind.
friend also jumps inside. Why? Bcoz Friend will do anything for love.

An unbeilavable False poem......
One fine morning in the middle of the night,
2 dead boys woke up 2 fight,
back to back they faced each other,
took out their swords and shot each other,
1 deaf policeman heard the noise,
and killed the 2 dead boys,
Believe this lie, Its really true,
Ask the blind beggar, He saw it too.

Consequences of American life style....
A wife rushed into the house screaming to her husband, darling come quick! ur kids and my kids r beating our kids!

God granted me one wish & i said "World peace"
God replied "impossible. go 4 another wish"
I asked him 2 make you intelligent
God said "let me try world peace"

One day love asked friendship "Y r u in the world when i am here"
Frienship smiled and replied "2 spread smile where u leave tears"

Cellula balance illana call panna mudiyaathu. Manushanukku call
illaena Balance panna mudiyaathu

A confusion has confused my mind which is already confused with some confusion. I dont know why this confusion had confused my confused mind. If my confusion had confused your mind then try to get a solution to my confusion to rectify my confused mind. If my confused message didnt confuse you then be happy thinking that a confused message didnt confuse u, which really confused me. Any confusion in this message!! If not then confuse everyone

The most selfish 1 letter - I - Avoid it
Most satisfactory 2 letters - WE - Use it
Most poisonous 3 letters - EGO - Kill it
Most used 4 letter - LOVE - Value it
Most pleasing 5 letters - SMILE - Keep it
Fastest spreading 6 letters - RUMOUR - Ignore it
Hard Working 7 letters - SUCCESS - Acheive it
Most enviable 8 letters - JEALOUSY - Distance it
Most essential 9 letters - PRINCIPLE - Have it
Most divine 10 letters - FRIENDSHIP - Maintain it

Did u know that tears can be sometimes more spcl than smiles bcoz smile
can b given 4 anyone but tears r shed only 4 whom we like truly

God granted me one wish & i said "World peace"
God replied "impossible. go 4 another wish"
I asked him 2 make you intelligent
God said "let me try world peace"

A guy wins 10 crore (first place) in lottery.
After Taking away his tax money the guy was given 7 crores
The guy asked them "give the 3 crores also, else give back my money for buying the lottery ticket"

A guy sitting at his home watching BBC news suddenly gets up and started to search all his rooms, tables etc
When he was asked why he is doing so...he replied
"I am searching for spy camera, How do the news reader know i am watching BBC news"
and added "He said that u r watching BBC news"

The best divorce applied so far
A man,working in 103rd floor of WTC,is in his girl friends house with his cell phones and Tv switched off.
On sep 11, 10AM, he switched on his cell phone, immediately his wife called him and asked "Are u ok, Where are u now"
He replied "What r u asking, I am in my office"

A guy went to a place to reduce his weight
They asked him ordinary or special
he replied ordinary first
then he was invited into a room. there a pretty girl was sitting. Then he
went near him. when he neared the girl,she started running...he ran behind here after some time she stopped and said Run like this for 1 week u will reduce ur weight
Then he opted for special (thought that there will be much more pretty girl inside the room)
he was invited into another room. There a old lady was there. Then the
guy started running while the lady chased him. She said after some time
to the guy "run like this for 3 days thats enough."

If bill gates becomes a director what will be the movie names......
1)chinna program,periya program
2)windowsukku mariyadhai
3).net s/O microsoft
4)Dataraja DBMS
5)programmarai kandaen
6)kaalamellam compiler vazhga
7)yen coding thaan yenakku mattum thaan
8)thotti java
9)tally'ukku mariyadhai
10)Laptop kondaen
11)kaalamellam UPS vazhga.
12)Yen password thaan yenakku mattu thaan
13)windows yellam vasantham
14)sallunu oru email
15)athu oru chatting kaalam
16)thulluvatho mouse
17)connecting arasan 23rd processor

Life+Love =Happy -->1
Life-love =sad -->2
(adding above two equations)
2*life =Happy + sad
therefore Life = 1/2 happy + 1/2 sad

CRICKET VS EXAMS.
BATSMAN=STUDENT
BOWLER=PAPER
UMPIRE = EXAM HALL SUPERVISOR
SCOREBORD=MARK SHEET
PLAYGROUND=EXAM HALL
FAST BALL=LONG QUESTION
SPIN BALL=TWISTED QUESTION
BOUNCER=OUT OF SYLLABUS
WIDEBALL=PRINTING MISTAKE
SIXER=ABOVE 75
FOUR=ABOVE 60
RUNOUT=CAUGHT WHILE COPYING
BOWLED=ARREAR
NO BALL=PASSED IN REVALUATION

FEW MODERN DEFINITIONS
SCHOOL - a place where PAPA pays and son plays
LIFE INSURANCE - A contact that keeps u poor all ur life so that u can die rich
NURSE - a person who wakes up 2 give u sleeping pills
MARRIAGE - A contract in which a boy loses his bachelor's degree and girls gets her master's degree
ATOM BOMB- AN INVENTION TO END ALL INVENTIONS.
BOSS-SOME1 WHO IS EARLY WEN UR LATE & LATE WEN UR EARLY.
CIGARETTE- A PINCH OF TOBACCO ROLLED IN PAPER WITH FIRE AT 1 END & A FOOL at the OTHER.
DIVORCE-FUTURE TENSE OF MARRIAGE.
LECTURE- AN ART OF TRANSFERING A CONSIOUS PERSON TO SUBCONSIOUS ONE

"The dream is not what u see in sleep, Dream is the thing which does
not let u sleep" - A.P.J.Abdul Kalam

[prasadkm]

OMG...I have posted in the wrong forum...
plz admins move this to entertainments
I apologise for what i have done
thank u

[killerdude1000]

OMG...I have posted in the wrong forum...
plz admins move this to entertainments
I apologise for what i have done
thank u
np moved.
havent read the whole thing yet but the email IDs were hilarious

[bellgates]

I was Read it fully.. All are very nice... Thanks for the Effort...

[prasadkm]

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/2527/sleepla9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

HOW ABOUT U GUYS...?

[prasadkm]

SMS Meaning
==========
AB - Ah Bless!
AFAIK - As Far As I Know
AFK - Away From Keyboard
AKA - Also Known As
AML - All My Love
ASAP - As Soon As Possible
ASL? - Age, Sex, Location?
ATB - All The Best
ATK - At The Keyboard
ATM - At The Moment
A3 - Anytime, Anyplace, Anywhere
BAK - Back At Keyboard
BBL - Be Back Later
BBS - Be Back Soon
BF - Boy Friend
BFN/B4N - Bye For Now
BGWM - Be Gentle With Me
BMW - Be My Wife
BRB - Be Right Back
BRT - Be Right There
BTW - By The Way
B4 - Before
B4N - Bye For Now
CU - See You
CUL8R - See You Later
CYA - See You
D8? - Date?
EOL - End of Lecture
FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions
FC - Fingers Crossed
FOAD - F**k Off And Die
FWIW - For What It's Worth
FYI - For Your Information
F2F - Face to Face
GAL - Get A Life
GF - Girl Friend
G2G - Got to Go
GG - Good Game
GMTA - Great Minds Think Alike
GR8 - Great!
GTH - Go To Hell
G9 - Genius
HAND - Have a Nice Day
HBTU - Happy Birthday To You
HOAS - Hold On A Sec
HUD - How You Doing?
H&K - Hugs and Kisses
IC - I See
ICQ - I Seek you
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
ILU - I Love You
IMHO - In My Honest/Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOU - I Owe You
IOW - In Other Words
IRL - In Real Life
JAM - Just A Minute
J4F - Just For Fun
J4K - Just For Kicks
KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid
LDR - Long Distance Relationship
LMAO - Laugh My *** Off
LOL - Laughing Out Loud
LTNS - Long Time No See
L8R - Later
M8 - Mate
MSG - Message
MTE - My Thoughts Exactly
MYOB - Mind Your Own Business
NE - Any
NE1 - Anyone
NM - NeverMind
NRN - No Reply Necessary
NWO - No Way Out
OIC - Oh I See
OMG - Oh My God
OTOH - On The Other Hand
OTT - Over The Top
PCM - PLease Call Me
PITA - Pain In The ***
PML - Piss Myself Laughing
PRT - Party
PRW - Parents Are Watching
PTB - Please Text Back
QT - Cutie
R - Are
RLR - Earlier
ROFL - Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROFLOL - Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud
ROTFLMAO - Rolling On The Floor Laughing My *** Off
RMB - Ring My Bell
RU - Are You?
RUOK - Are You OK?
SK8 - Skate
SRY - Sorry
STATS - Your Age, Sex, Location?
STFU - Shut The F**k Up!
TB - Text Back
THX - Thank You, Thanks
TMB - Text Me Back
TTFN - TaTa For Now!
TTYL - Talk To You Later
TTTT - To Tell The Truth
U - You
U2 - You Too
U4E - Yours For Ever
UI! - You Idiot!
UR - Your
W@ - What
WB - Welcome Back
****** - What The F**k
WTG - Way To Go!
WTH - What The Hell
WUF - Where Are You From?
W8 - Wait...
10Q - Thank You
7K - Sick
=============================================

Vijay'na sivaka'c'
Vikram'na ka'c'
kalyanam'na Ma'c' (....a month in tamil)
Cool'na A'c'
Sms'na o'c'

==============================================

Mom taught me 1 hour = 60 minutes
Dad taught me 1 min = 60 seconds
But they never told me that 1 second without a friend like u=1 million year

==============================================

Girls dont wear saree in english speaking countries...
Do u know what they feel?
Type "saree" in ur mobile with dictionary turned on....
You will get the answer

==============================================

There is a good in every bad that occurs....proof
Type "rejected" in ur mobile with dictionary turned on....
You will know why it is so...

==============================================

ANNAMALAI DIALOG: "UNNODA CALENDARLA KURICHI VACHIKKO, INDHA NAAL ENNODA CARDA RECHARGE PANNI, UNNAVIDA ATHIGAMA SMS ANUPPI, NEE EPDI ENAKKU THOLLA KUDUTHEYO, ADHAE MADTHERI NAMUM KUDUKKALA, NAN "UN FRIEND" ILLA.... 2+2=8 KOOTTI KALICHI PARU KANAKKU THAPPA VARUM"

==============================================

SPCL OFER, BRING A BIT ON EXAM DAY, SCRATCH & SHOW IT 2 UR NEAREST TEACHER & WIN FREE TRIP 2 PRINCIPLE’S OFFICE & ENJOY 3YR VACATION @ HOME.HURRY OFFER LIMITED!!

==============================================

LIFE IS LIKE A PIANO. WHITE KEYS ARE HAPPY MOMENTS & BLACK KEYS ARE SAD MOMENTS. BUT REMEMBER BOTH KEYS ARE PLAYED TOGETHER TO GIVE SWEET MUSIC.

==============================================

A GOOD FRND IS ONE WHO TELLS U TO STUDY WELL BUT A BEST FRND IS ONE WHO SITS OUTSIDE UR EXAM HALL AND SAYS, ‘EH EVLAVU NERAM EZHUDHUVA, VAA’..

==============================================

Do u know about the organs that live after death....
Eyes 31 mins,brain 10 mins, legs 4 hrs, skin 5 days, heart 10 mins,
Ear 10 min,Bones 30 days.....but friendship forever

==============================================

#include<mrng.h>
#include<activ.h>
void main()
{
eyes_open();
get_ready();
printf ("Gud morning");
while (day!=2moro)
{
have_a_nice_day();
}
}

==============================================

SMOKE everyday ! hey wait SMOKE means
s-Send
m-Me
o-One
k-Kutty SMS
e-everyday
so plz SMOKE.
Request- Be a chain smoker

==============================================

When there is friendship there is love
When there is love there is separation
When there is separation there is pain
When there is pain plz apply zandu balm

==============================================

Hi, may the day give u....
independence of java
power of unix
popularity of windows
extensibility of J2EE
Luxury of .Net
Efficiency of c
ease of VB
robustness of oracle
vision of UML
simplicity of HTML
style of Mac
Dexterity of photoshop
Enormity of 3D MAX
Vastness of Internet

==============================================

A day will finally come when the whole world celebrate ur name,
ur fame, ur personality, ur thoughts, ur ideas. That day will be
known as APRIL-1

==============================================

Our friendship is like playing a see-saw, not only because its
alwayz fun with u....but also because i wont mind going down to
see u rise.

==============================================

[SSS_M19]

very nice!i don't know how people find time in inventing such things....
thanks for sharing!!!

[prasadkm]

http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/6388/thirukurralvl0.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[SB@TTT]

lol smart, I will consider this option when I get bald

[prasadkm]

Count the number of "F" in the following passage

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS


scroll down only after counting



















































OK?
How many? Three?
Wrong, there are six - no joke!
Read again!



































The reasoning is
The brain cannot process "OF".
Incredible or what?
Anyone who counts all six 'F' on the first
go is a genius or insane, Three is normal. If u did, u r one among the 2 %

[babygalasin2006]

The brain cannot process "OF"
lol :welcome::welcome:
I found 5

[aje06]

lol :welcome::welcome:
I found 5

Lol



Me tooo! i got 5 as welll....

[fallen_angel0]

Man, I'm too good for this world. I found all 6. w00t w00t

You wanna know how? I got this in an email a long long long time ago hehehehe :yes: .....I probably would've found 5 too.

[prasadkm]

This is really a great suspense...
Read it carefully to know what it is....





A man is driving down the road and breaks down near
a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the
door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I
could stay the night?






the monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner,





even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep,





he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks





the monks what the sound was, but they say, We





can't tell you. You're not a monk.






The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and





goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same





man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The





monks again accept him, feed him, even fix his car.





That night, he hears the same strange noise that he





had heard years earlier.





The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks





reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.





The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to





know. If the only way I can find out what that sound





was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?






The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell





us how many blades of grass there are and the exact





number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers,





you will become a monk.





The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years





later, he returns and knocks on the door of the





monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and





have found what you have asked for. There are





145,236,284, 232 blades of grass and





231,281,219, 999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.





The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a





monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.





The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the





head monk says, The sound is right behind that





door.





The man reaches for the knob, but the door is





locked. He says, Real funny. May I have the key?





The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.





Behind the wooden door is another door made of





stone. The man demands the key to the stone door.





The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to





find a door made of ruby. He demands another key





from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is





another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went





until the man had gone through doors of emerald,





silver, topaz, and amethyst.





Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the





last door.





The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door,





turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to





find the source of that strange sound.....

















































.. . . But I can't tell you what it is because






































you're not a monk.





Isn't It Irritating......?

[prasadkm]

Love pandrappo girls sollaradhuku real meaning
1) I Love You - unakku aapu conform
2) I miss you - unna tholachu katta poraen
3) you are my life - un uyir en kaila da
4) U r my chellam - Nee en veetu naai
5) I want to marry you - unaku marana dhandanai...!

"The two most important days in someone's life are the day that they are
born...and the day they discovered why!" - John Maxwell

Interviewer to a sardar:
Interviewer: Tell me the opposite words for "Made in India"
Sardar: Pallam in Pakistan
Int: Good! Sharpa irukeengale
Sar: Bad! Mottaiya irukeengalae
Int: Pothum! Relax Agikanga
Sar: Pothathu! tension agikanga
Int: Mister! Neenga select agalai...
Sar: Madam! Neenga Select aagiteenga
Int: Muthal neenga idathai kali pannunga
Sar: Kadaisila neenga idathai nirapunga.
Int: Kadavule kaapaathu
Sar: Saathanae kaapaathathe

Be Proud to be Indians
1) India buys more gold than any other country and d money spen on indian
wedding ceremonies is the most in the world.
2) India produces more movies than any other country in the world
3) The largest employer in the world is the indian railway syatem,
employing over a million people
4) After chinese, south indians are the smartest in the world, said Bill Gates.

Though 4 the day
Most of the troubles in life are the result of saying 'yes' too soon and
'no' too late

The road to success is not straight...
There is a curve called failure...
A loop called confusion...
Speed bumps called bad friends...
Red lights called enemies...
Caution lights called family...
You will have flats called jobs...
But if u have a spare wheel called determination...
An engine called perseverance...
Insurance called faith...
A driver called GOD...
You will make it to a place called SUCCESS.

STUPID QUESTIONS and CUTE ANSWERS...
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
--------------------
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
--------------------
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
--------------------
GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
--------------------
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
--------------------
MAN : You remind me of the sea....
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
--------------------
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something, It goes in both ears and comes
out of the mouth.
--------------------
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
--------------------
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
--------------------
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
--------------------
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
--------------------
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
--------------------
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the
same time."

Banta Singh's Letter to Bill Gates

Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for
our home and we find some problems which I want to bring to your notice.
1.) After connecting to internet we plan to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in password column only ****** comes,
but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed comes. We checked with
hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in
keyboard. I request you to check this as ourselves we do not know what is
the password.

2) There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button. We request
you to check this. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend
clicked 'run' and has ran upto Amritsar. So, we request you to change that
to sit so that we can click that by sitting.

3) One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find
only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.Also there is 'find' button
but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a
lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

Thanks,
Banta Singh

[prasadkm]

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.So both groups gather at Pune Station.


Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority .

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):
------------ --------- --------- -------- ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes Away....


NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct Train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA):
------------ --------- --------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- ------------
Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equal"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..

TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE.
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes into the Bathroom... TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA): !
------------ --------- --------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- ------------
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the loc al to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time...

SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets ..........
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train.......

CONCLUSION: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don't mess with Engineers.

[NeoSaSI]

:duh: thanks for wasting my time!

[fallen_angel0]

Haha that actually cracked me up. Good one.

[babydoll]

Thanks a lot for annoying me.... :P

[prasadkm]

Love enpathu CHICKKUN KUNIYA mathiri varum, pogum.
Friendship enpathu AIDS mathiri, orumurai vanthal saakum varai pokaathu...

A true friend is one who sees ur first tear, catches the second, stops the third but when fourth comes, slaps u and say..."Over'a scene podatha"

3 ways to catch Tiger....
1. Newtons method....Let the Tiger catch u. Every action has equal and opposite reaction. U can catch Tiger later
2. Einstein method....run opposite direction to Tiger, According to theory of relativity Tiger will run fast and getr tired and then u will be able to catch it
3. According to most efficient ** Police method....Catch a cat and torture till it agrees that its the TIGER

Kannum Kannum parthal kaathal varum endru ninaithaen.
But vanthathu enaku Madras Eye

Cute kavidhai.....
* Viral pidithu kooti selvai endru nambi thaan unnudan vanthaen,
Vilagi selvaai endru therinthirunthaal viturupaen andrae....
Un viralai alla....en uyirai
* Oru murai santhitaen, palamurai sinthika vaithai,
Ippothu pala murai sinthikiraen, oru murayaavathu santhika mudyuma endru

Today's thathuvam....
Puli munnadi pona maanum...Ponnu pinnadi ponna aanum....Uyiroda vazhndatha sarithirame illa

BCCI Board : Ganguly u are selected for 2007 World cup...
Ganguly : Dai...Enna vachi comedy..Keemedy pannaliyae

Why India is in trouble Though population is 100 crore?....
Because...
7.9 crore retired
30 crore in state Govt, 17 crore in central Govt(Both dont work)
1 crore IT professionals (They dont work for India)
25 crore in school
1 crore under 5 years
15 crore unemployed
1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals
statistics says 79,99,998 people arte in jail
Rest two are u & me...
U r busy reading this...
Now Now can I handle India alone....?

"Life is like a Novel with suspence....U dono what is going to happen until u turn the page"
"Love is a history in boys life and an episode in girls life" - Sidney shelton

"The most certain way to succeed is just to try one more time" - Edison

[prasadkm]

vetti payale....vetti payale....vetti payale
vetti companyla naa thaan....vettiya sutharen

project varaadhaa.....project varaadhaa
inimel inimel enaku project varaadhaa(2)


kaalai mudhal maalai varai
dhinamum forwards anupi thaane naanum aazhuren

kangal moodi iravu thoongum podhu.....
en bedroom fanum keela vandhu enna ezhupudhe
enna vettinu thittudhe

(vetti payale....)

canteenai thediye kaalgalum oduthe
breaku breakaai breaku breakaai odi odi paarkiren (echo)


summa irundhu bore adichu....deskil naan thoonginen....romba aasaiya(2)

baby pola nimmadhiya thoonga theriyalaye
aanalum thoongama thaan iruka mudiyalaye

ennai naane thitti thitti paarthen
manasu thirundhavilla. ...

(vetti payale...)

[prasadkm]

Chennai nagaram urangum neram...
veyilum uyarndadhu dhoosi parandadhe...
share auto iRangiye kaatrum tharayil nadandadhe...
naangu kannadi cubicle ulle naanum computerum...
thanimai thanimayoa...
thanimai thanimayoa kodumai kodumayo...

(Chennai)

sirithu sirithu pesi.. ennudan lunch thinna nee
illai....
programil ezhum kuzhappam thannai theerka nee inge
illai
naan offshoril neeyum onsiteil indha thanimayil
nimishangaL varusham aanadheno........
user id ingae password ange indha uvamaikkum iruvarum
viLakkam aanadhu yaeno

(Chennai)

outlook il nooRu muRai undhan peyarai type seyyum
endhan keyboard..
ezhudhiyadhum monitoril eRumbu moikka un peyarum
aanadhenna thaena....
jill endru AC irundhum indha tharuNathil power cut
pola thondruvadhu yaeno....
vaa anbe neeyum vandhaal vending machine coffee kooda
thaen pola maaRume...

Chennai nagaram urangum neram...
veyilum uyarndadhu dhoosi parandadhe...
share auto iRangiye kaatrum tharayil nadandadhe...
naangu kannadi cubicle ulle naanum computerum...
thanimai thanimayoa...
thanimai thanimayoa kodumai kodumayo...

[prasadkm]

http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/552/att1mg8.jpg

[prasadkm]

Subj: electrical engg

People come up with peculiar or funny answers in interviews or exams:

Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C. as compared to D.C.?
Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC ?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is DC. If it gets stuck, it was AC.

Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.

Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an integrated circuit?
Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.

External (to student) : " Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC to pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC Comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, Up DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!"

Examiner : "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student : "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transfomer that is put in the basement or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(student knows he is caught -- can't answer)
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

[prasadkm]

Ramu : I've just become a member of Rotract Club.
Somu : public member or private?

Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be wrong?
Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.

PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on these 500 rupees to Suthi..?
Bull : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by value or pass by reference.
PS : ???!!!

Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...
Somu : how do u say that?
Ramu : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!

Ramu : shhhh...I think the SW Engg who is sitting in the next cabin must be a farmer before ...
Somu : How do u know...?
Ramu : he asked me today that is there a way to cultivate the bit fields..!!

Computer : Please sit over the hard disk to compress the files!
Computer : please pour Engine oil in the floppy drive to enhance the performance of Search Engine.

Ramu : why people are beating that SW engg black and blue?
Somu : it seems, he asked one of them that whether "vante mataram" is new kind of RAM in the market!

Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive..
Somu : How do u say that?
Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin Sea.

Ramu : Hey.... whats time now?
Somu : System time or local time...??

Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting up!
Somu : may be, its internal buses are on strike.. check out!

Ramu : (while browsing the TV) what is this? I have heard of Star Sports, Star Movies and Star Plus. Whats this Star Equals??? Is it a new Star Channel?
Somu : No. = operator has been overloaded in Star Channel.

Geetha : I think that SW Engg is very naive..
Seetha : how do u say that?
Geetha : He believes "Rascal" is a new version of Pascal!

Ramesh : Hey.. u know.. Micorsoft Visual C++ 5.0 has got everything...The Developer Studio can really do magic...
Umesh : Can we use that to develop the photo-negatives?

Ramu : why are u wiping ur terminal very often with a cloth?
Somu : clear command is not working properly for my terminal. that’s why?

Babu : yesterday I bought a new TV whose terminal is compatible with computer... but its audio portion is not at all working :-
Gopu : may be its compatible only with dumb terminals???

Vani : We have shifted our home to Malleswaram now..
Soni : right shift or left shift??

Kannamma : do u have Design Specs for brinjal sambar?
Ponnamma : u mean recipe..?

Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord yaar. He's harassing me too much.
Somu : What case? Upper Case or Lower Case or......

Vanish : Hey.. why is that sardaarji inserting a cover into the floppy drive?
Bull : He wants to send an e-mail it seems!

[babydoll]

Hmmm... I don't get these 'jokes'. Oh well.

[prasadkm]

Hmmm... I don't get these 'jokes'. Oh well.

Its all related to c language and computer

[fallen_angel0]

lol ******, these made no sense at all. I didn't even smile or any of it. :no: hmmmm, c language huh?....

[prasadkm]

DESKTOP CLEANER

Have your noticed that your computer monitor, after a few years of use is not as clear as it was when new? Well, that's because electrostatic charges cause micro-etching on the interior surface of the glass which can degrade the picture quality.

As a result you end up straining your vision and visual acuity can suffer... BUT... GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to MICROSOFT this process is REVERSIBLE thanks to a brand new JUST INTRODUCED PROGRAM that "cleans" the inside of the screen!!!!!!

The process takes LESS THAN 30 SECONDS, and the difference is IMMEDIATELY NOTICEABLE!!!!!

Just Scroll down and let this program do the work.















































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OK. Your screen is clean.

[prasadkm]

GREAT TO BE AN INDIAN
====================
You may be aware of that after IT now India moving towards Biotechnology.
According to one research India will emerge as a super power in IT & Medical
research by 2025.

Q. Who is the Co-founder of Sun Microsystems? (The company which is sweeping the Internet with its brainchild Java)
A. Vinod Khosla

Q. Who is the Creator of Pentium Chip? (Needs no introduction, 90% of the today's computers run on it)
A. Vinod Dahm

Q. Who is the third richest person on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji,
CEO, Wipro. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6th position now.

Q. Who is the current president of AT&T Bell Labs? (AT & T Bell Labs is the creator of C, C++, Unix to name a few)
A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail? (Hotmail is world's No. 1 web based email program)
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?
A. Rajiv Gupta

Q. Who is the Testing Director of Windows 2000?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika

We are known as the Indian Mafia (or Internet Mafia?).
We are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives. We are the success story in America.
Let the world know what we stand for.

There are 3.22 Million Indians in America.
* 38% of Doctors in America are Indians.
* 12% of Scientists in America are Indians.
* 36% of NASA employees are Indians.
* 34% of MICROSOFT employees are Indians
* 28% of IBM employees are Indians
* 17% of INTEL employees are Indians
* 13% of XEROX employees are Indians.

Some of these facts may be known to you. These facts were recently published in aGerman Magazine which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.

A) India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.

B) India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.

C) The World's first university was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than
10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The
University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest
achievements of ancient India in the field of education.

D) Sanskrit is the mother of all the European languages. Sanskrit is the most
suitable language for computer software reported in Forbes magazine, July 1987.

E) Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans. Charaka, the father of medicine consolidated Ayurveda 2500 years ago. Today Ayurveda is fast regaining its rightful place in our civilization.

F) Although modern images of India often show poverty and lack of development, India was the richest country on earth until the time of British invasion in the early 17th Century.

G) The art of Navigation was born in the river Sindh 6000 years ago.
The Very word Navigation is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
The word navy is also derived from Sanskrit 'Nou'.

H) Bhaskaracharya calculated the time taken by the earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the astronomer Smart. Time taken by earth to orbit the sun (5th century) 365.258756484 days.

I) The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the 6th century long before the European mathematicians.

J) Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India; Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th Century; The largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 (10 to the power of 6) whereas Hindus used numbers as big as 1053(10 to the power of 53) with specific names as early as 5000 BCE during the Vedic period. Even today, the largest used number isTera 1012(10 to the power of 12).

K) According to the Gemological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source for diamonds to the world.

L) USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion in the world scientific community that the pioneer of Wireless communication was Prof.Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.

M) The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.

N) According to Saka King Rudradaman I of 150 CE a beautiful lake called
'Sudarshana' was constructed on the hills of Raivataka during Chandragupta
Maurya's time.

O) Chess (Shataranja or AshtaPada) was invented in India.

P) Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted complicated surgeries like cesareans, cataract, artificial limbs, fractures, urinary stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery. Usage of anesthesia was well known in ancient India. Over 125 surgical equipment were used. Deep knowledge of anatomy, physiology, etiology, embryology, digestion, metabolism, genetics and immunity is also found in many texts.

Q) When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley(Indus Valley Civilization)

R) The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.

QUOTES ABOUT INDIA
===================
A) Albert Einstein said: We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count,
without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.

B) Mark Twain said: India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most constructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.

C) French scholar Romain Rolland said: If there is one place on the face of earth where all the dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India.

D) Hu Shih, former Ambassador of China to USA said: India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border. All the above is just the TIP of the iceberg, the list could be endless.




STILL I DONT KNOW WHY INDIA IS A DEVELOPING COUNTRY?????

[Manmadhan]

Awesome.....I will forward it to others..........

[prasadkm]

A Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?

A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150

Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?

A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR

Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER

Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?

A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL

Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:

A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT

Sardar gives up.





































If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at our Sardar's replies, then

please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

NOW TELL ME WHO'S THE DUMB ONE....?

[prasadkm]

Yahoo chat_il valadhorathil..id gal seyyum arasaangam.
roomukuley nuzhaivorkellam vanakkam podum oru kootam (2)

Mokkai podumidam..
udan bootum seyyapadum(2)
sani_ilum Nyaayarilum matra vidumurai naalinilum..
adhigamaai figure gal koodaumidam,
azhagiya figure gal serumidam.

Yahoo chat_il valadhorathil..,,,

Roominul,nuzhaindhidum id_gal yaavum
real _aa? fake_galaa?
ting ting ting
tinggg tingg tingg
siriyavar periyavar anaivarum kuzhambum matter idhu dhaanada,,

Roominul,nuzhaindhidum id_gal yaavum
male_aa? female_a?
siriyavar periyavar anaivarum kuzhambum matter idhu dhaanada,,

PM window wil paartha mugan ondru..
JPG file anupi paartha mugam ondru
webcam invite seidhu kaatuum mugam ondru
neriley paarthaalo kaanum mugam ondru..
bayamootum mugam ondruuu..

Philipines_in figure oruthi online_il varuvaal..
webcam invite seidhu enai paaru enmbaal.
padika panam vendum nee anupi vai enbaal..
panathai nee anupaadhey..tin katti selvaal..
unaku tin katti selvaal.

Yahoo chat_il valadhorathil..id gal seyyum arasaangam.
roomukuley nuzhaivorkellam vanakkam podum oru kootam (2)a..

[prasadkm]

Chat_il kadalai potaa adhu wrong aa ponadhilley..
Naan thajaa panni vachaa ID bejaar panadhilley..
Local enraalum foreign endraalum kadalai ennoda dhan ..papapambam..

Female id roomuku pudhusa varunda ..thiku disai theriyaama mulichi nikum da....
Pm pani asl ketu parthen da ..reply panna friend list il serthu konden da
Sarakuiruku babapappaa..murukiruku pabapappapa..
Figure ku pabapappa nalla azhagiruku ,,pabappa..
Phone number dhan kidaichaachi..
Meeting_um dhaan mudinjaachi
Figure_ey shopping kooti poyeee
Pocket_m kaaliya pochi..
Local enraalum foreign endraalum kadalai ennoda dhan ..
Chat_il pm panaaa..

nallaponna paarthu pm pannaum .soru thanni thingama kadalai podanum
starting layey kadalai potaa vittu poidum.
akku akka un image kettu podium
kadalai ya dhan pabapappba.,.
potidanum pabapabbaba
Theramayellam pabapappba
Angey kaatidanum..
Main room_il unkooda pesi..pm il veraala thedum..pengal irukum indha chattil
Enaku endha ponnu maatum..
Andha pen ponaalum..sogam kollamal..inoru pen theduven
pabapappam indha chat_il kadalai potaa..

[prasadkm]

kudigaaraney kudigaaraney adhisaya kudigaaraney...
chinnachinna_dhaai peg_gugalai..adithidum kudigaaraney.
adhey mayakkam mayakkam..
adhey kirakam kirakkam..
vaazhvin elam varai vendum vendum ..
vaazhvin elam varai vendum vendum

nethu wine shopiley...mappery bodhailey..balti adichadhu pol..thinam..balti adichiduvaai...
andru en veetiley..pondaati illadhapo..saraku adichadhu pol...dhinam saraku adichiduvaai
bottle bottle a kudciha pinaalum.steady ya nadandhiduvaai.nee steady ya nadandhiduvai .

wishky_iley lemon juice_ai kalapaai..(2)
beer_iley soda_vaium kalapaai..
moochu mutta kudipaai..

pagaliley panangallu kudipaai..
panam illamaley iravilum kudipaai.
credit cardai kodupaaai..

bodhai yeri unaku thalai suthum podhu..
unnudambai thaangi kolven.
wine shop ai vitu veli varumbodhu. bill_ai naanum kattiduven

kudigaaraney kudigaaraney !!

undhan sattai eeramaaga kudipaai..
nee kudikail server_aium adipaai
kaneerai vadipaai

chicken leg_ei naaiyai pola kadipaai.
kick_eri naayai pola kuraipaai.
dinusaai ...siripaai..

Voorukai_ey eduthu ullangaiyil vaithu..sappu koti saapiduvai..
unai thatti kettaal.bar owner kum.oru peg oothiduvaai...
kudigaaraney
kudigaraaney
adisaya kudikaraney..

[prasadkm]

kaalai ezhundhu cofee keten
cofee illati tea ei keten
tea um illati complan keten.
complan illati horlicks keten
horlicks illati boostum keten
boostum illati bournvita keten
bournvita illati suku kaapi ketten..suku kaapi illati sudu thani keten

hotel poi menu vai keten.
ootai illadha dosai kettey
oosi pogaadha idly keten
sikey illadha idyapam keten.
ennai illadha poori keten
milagaai illadha upma keten..

hotel vitu veliya vandhu
college bussil seat-ai poten
college poga ticket keten.
ticket vaangi chillarai keten.
chillarai vangi pockcetil poten..
college ulley nadayai poten.

college figuregal_ai notam poten.
homely figure yaarunu keten.
dhavani potta figureai keten.,
pudavai katiya ponnai keten.
poovai vaitha paavai keten.
manjal poosiya mugathai ai keten.

kadandhu pona figure_ai ellam..
naan thedum pennai keten..
avargal kaatiya disayil endhan paarvai_ai thirupi
udaney parthen.,.
poovum manjalum.nirakka soodi..pattu pudavai meley porthi..
10 ku 10 poster sizeil co -op tex in vilambaram parthennnnnnnnnn

[prasadkm]

alaipaayuthey kanney en manam alai payuthey
unnodu Bussinil sellum podhu manam
alai paayuthey kanney enmanam alai payuthey (2)

vali theriyaamaley silai polavey ninru..(2)
nirutham varuvadhariyaalamey ...
vegu dhoorathai kadandhu vandhu vitenadi
alai paayutheyyyy

maraitha mugam pirai nilavaai theriyudhey..
unai theedi en manam medhuvaai thavazhudhey..
Un thalai poo vaasam kaatril varugudhey ..
Un thalai poo vaasam kaatril varugudhey..
kangal sorugi oru vidhamaai varugudhey.

mugathai maraikum thaditha manidhanai idathai koduthu nagarthava ?(2)
oru thanitha idathil unaku idathai pidithu koduthu magizhthava.

thalaigalin naduvinil.kadhiravan oliyena orumurai serithennai magizhthava

undhan kan thedi naan thudikava..
idhara maadharudan nee sirikava ?(2)
idhu murayo ? idhu thagumo idhu dharman dhano (2)

wishitle oodhidum pozhudhu bayandhidum ...pinnar sirithidum undhan mugathinai kandu
alaipaayudhey kanney en manam alai paayuthey .....

[prasadkm]

Mannil indha beedi indri yaarum vaazhdhal koodumo?
ganesa beedi indri beeda kadai dhaan odumo ?
beedi indri mannil inbam edhada?
kannai moodi pugayai oodhum maanidaa!!

Thanni adikum samayathil beedi_in thunai indri
enna sugam angu kidaikum pugai_in manamindri.
Chicken leg_um thundu beediyum kaiyiley quarter_um.
chinnanjiru pocket_iley mineral water_um,
Ivaigalai veruthaal nee oru karumi..
over_aa adicha sethuduvey irumi.

chinnanjiru ilayinil pugai ilai podi seithu
noolil katti pocket seidhu kidaithidum porul allavaaaa!!

Mannil indha beedi inri....

Beedi_iley pugai valayam vidum nabargalum.
beedi_iley padam varayum oviya kalaignanum.
Dum adichu sangathamizhil paadum kalaignanum..
pongi varum inbam adhanai thedum manidhanum..
indha beedi kudicha aaiduvaan nyaani.
poochi pottu andaadhu thevai illai saani..

nuni mudhal adivarai muzhuvadhum suvaithidu..
viralgalin idainil..porundhidum porulallavaa...

mannil indha beedi indri yaarum vaazhdhal koodumo.

[prasadkm]

Bonda....! keera bonda...!
konda....! enaku kondaa,,,!!
Naan dhinandhorum unnai thinbeney..
un pugazh paadi sales_um seiveney..
Manam idhu dhaana amirdham endru Dhidukitadhey..

Bonda..keera bonda.

Poem-
Kadalai maavum keerayum
kalandhurandai seidhunnai..
dhaga dhagavena kodhikum ennaiyil..
alavaaga unaietu- vendhum theeyamalum
irukum idhamaana padhathil..
sooriyanai pol minnum thangapandhu
needhano needhano
enadharumai bondavey

pizzavum burgerum vilayaadum innatil..
bondavey unnai thinbeney..

Muniyaandi tea kadai_il
tea_yodu unai serthu suvayaga nashta thinbeney..

kayyil panamey illai enraal
kadanaai unnai vaangiduven
thinamum unnai thinga naaan mogam kondu ezhundhiduven,,

Bonda,,keera bondaa !!!

[prasadkm]

orey oru pettail orey oru dhadha
orey oru pettail orey oru dhadha

orey oru dhadha_vukku orey oru godha.
orey oru dhadha_vukku orey oru godha.
orey oru pettail orey oru dhadha

orey oru dhadha seidhaan onbadhu kolai,
orey oru dhadha seidhaan onbadhu kolai,

andha onbadhilum ondril kooda maatavey illai
andha onbadhilum ondril kooda maatavey illai...maatavey illai.

kolai seidha dhada oru kaadhalai seidhaan..
andha kaadhaliey theateruku kootitu ponaan..

kolai seidha dhada oru kaadhalai seidhaan..
andha kaadhaliey theateruku kootitu ponaan..

pizza popcorn pepsi ena vaangi koduthaan
pizza popcorn pepsi ena vaangi koduthaan

angey mafti_il irundha police_kita maatikondaan..maati kondaan..
orey oru pettail orey oru dhaadha..

[prasadkm]

"Kanmani..anboda kaadhalan naan oothum saambar..illa rasam..illai kootu..chey unaku ebdi thonudho abdiyey vachiko.."

"Ingey padi.."

kanmani anmbodu kadhalan naan oothum sambar...

"Ohh paatavey padichitiya..?"

"Ponmani.un udambu sowkiyamaa? Doctorta ponuma??
Sambaar moondhu paarkail..thalai suthudhu..adhai ootha ninaikail. Karandi otudhu..abriaami abiraami.."

Ponmani.un udambu sowkiyamaa? Doctorta ponuma??
Sambaar moondhu paarkail..thalai suthudhu..
adhai ootha ninaikail. Karandi otudhu ohh ohh (kanmani anbodu ...)

“Adhu enna maayamo enna jaalamo theriyalai..,..naan eppo sambaar vachaalum..adhu theenji poidudhu..ennaala nalla saambaar vaika mudiyalayeu enga enga azhugaya muttudhu..aana naan azhudhu andha sogam unnai thaakeedumonu ninacha vara azhugayum nindrudhu"

"naduvuley thakkali..mullangi..beans idellam add panniko..
yenna…..thatttil oootri kola idhu nalla sambar illai illai illai.en moonji pola theenji ponadhu theenji ponadhu .theenji ponadhu .."(echo)

naan vaitha saambar indru thanaaley theenji pona maayam enna thakkali..mullangiii..
endhan sambar theenji poga en meni thaangi kollum undhan meni thaangaadhu thakkali.
Nalla sambaar naanum vaika mudiyaamal yenga yenga azhugai vandhadhu..
Andha sogam unnai thaakum endrennum bodhu vandha azhugai nindradhu..

Thattil ootri thinga idhu nalla saambar illai en moonji pola theenji ponadhu……
Abiraamyey sorootum saamiyey naandhaney theriyumaa..
Sivagaamiyey .. sivanil neeyum pathiey adhuvum unaku theriyuma ?
abiraami abiraami...

[prasadkm]

Karunanithikum Jayalalithakum kalyanum
antha jaadhi katchi Kootanigal oorgolum
antha Parlimentla nadakuthaiya thirumanam
angu 2 katchi thondargalum Gummalam

kalyanamam kalyanam
kalyanamam kalyanam
kalyanamam kalyanam
kalyanamam kalyanam
mapillai sontha bantham Congress katchithanunga
mapillai sontha bandam Congress katchi thanunga
pennuku sontha bantham vaikoo petchu.. thanuga
pennuku sontha bantham vaikoo petchu.. thanuga
antha Ramadasum,Tirumavum vara vazhapa tharugudu....
vara vazhaipa tharugudu...
mapila Karunanithi Gopalapuram thanungo
antha manaponnum jayalalitha Poes garden thanungo
mapila Karunanithi Gopalapuram thanungo
antha manaponnum jayalalitha Poes garden thanungo
intha thirumanatha nadathivaikum SonaiGandhi akkango
intha thirumanatha nadathivaikum SonaiGandhi akkango

intha manamkalai vazhthuginra periya manusa yaarungo.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
thalaivaru Vijaykanth thanungo

[prasadkm]

kanmani anbodu kadhalan naan yezhuthum PROGRAMe
ponmani un LINK sowkiyama?

en LINK sowkiyame

unnai enni parkaiyil STATEMENT kottuthu

athai COMPILE seigaiyil SYNTAX muttuthu

(kanmani)

undana BUG yaavum thanale SOLVE aagum

maayam enna ponmane ponmane

yenna BUG anapothum yen CODE thangikollum

unthan CODE thangathe senthene

ANSI STANDARD yennavenru sollamal yenga yenga azhugai vanthathu

yenthan sogam unnai thakkum yenrennum pothu azhugai ninrathu
manithar REVIEW panna ithu manitha CODE alla

athayum thandi kodumai anathu

(kanmani)

abiramiye MAIL anupum samiye naan thane theriyuma

sivagamiye C-il neeyum pathi athuvum unakku puriyuma

suba laali laali ya laali laali ya................abrami laali laali ya laali laaliya ...........

[prasadkm]

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so-called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky
hair. I wished she were mine, but she didn't notice me like
that.And I knew it. After class she walked up to me and asked me
for the notes she had missed the day before, and I handed them to
her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to
tell her. I wanted her to know that I don't want to be just friends.
I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why.

11th Grade

The phone rang. It was her on the other end. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She
asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I
did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes,
wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie, and
three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me,
said "thanks," and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her.
I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends.
I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why.

12th Grade

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick,"
she said. He's not going to go. Well, I didn't have a date and
in 7th grade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we
would go together just as "best friends," so we did. Prom night
after everything was over I was standing at her front door step. I
stared at her. She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal
eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that,
and I know it. Then she said, "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her.
I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends.
I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

Graduation Day

A day passed. A week passed. A month passed. Before I could
blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated
like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be
mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before
everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and she cried
as I hugged her. Then, she lifted her head from my shoulder and
said, "You're my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the
cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be
just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why…

A Few Years Later

Now, I sit in the pews of the church. She is getting married,
now. I watched her say, "I do" and drive off to her new life, married
to another man. I wanted her to be mine but she didn't see me
like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me
and said, "You came!" She said, "thanks!" and kissed me on the
cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to
be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

Funeral

yrs passed, and I looked down at the coffin of the girl who
used to be my best friend." At the service they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I
stare at him wishing he were mine. But he doesn't notice me like
that, and I know it. I want to tell him. I want him to know that I
don't want to be just friends. I love him, but I'm just too shy, and
I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me…

i wish I did too…i thought to myself, and I cried.

[prasadkm]

Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world.
Jasmine : I think so.. All of my friends have boyfriends & we are the only 2 persons left in this world without any special someone in our lives.
Daniel : Yup! I don't know what to do.
Jasmine : I know! We'll play a game.
Daniel: What game?
Jasmine : I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days & you will be my boyfriend.
Daniel : That's a great plan in fact, I don't have anything to do for the following weeks..

DAY 1:
They watched their first movie together & were both touched in the romantic film.

DAY 4:

They went to the beach & had a picnic... Daniel & Jasmine had their quality time together.

DAY 12:

Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they went to a Horror House.. Jasmine was scared

and she tried to touch Daniel's hand but by accident she touched someone else's and they both laughed..

DAY 14:

They saw a fortune teller down the road and asked for their future. The fortune teller said: "My darlings, please don't waste the time of your lives... spend your time together happily." Then tears flow from the teller's eyes.

DAY 20:

Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor... Jasmine mumbled something.

DAY 28:

They rode on a bus and because of the bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.

DAY 29:

11:37 pm
Daniel & Jasmine were sitting in the park where they first decided to play this game ...

Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine... do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road..

Jasmine : Apple juice would be fine,thanks.

Daniel : Wait for me...

20 minutes later ... a stranger approched Jasmine.

Stranger : Are you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine : Yes, why? What happened?

Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel & he is critical in the hospital .

11:57pm

The doctor came out from the emergency room & handed out an apple juice & a letter to Jasmine.

Doctor: We found this in Daniel's pocket.

Jasmine read the letter which says:

Jasmine, this past few days, I realized you are really a cute girl & I am falling for you.. your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game.. & before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my life. I love you, Jasmine...

Jasmine crumples the paper & shouted..

"Daniel! I don't want you to die...I love you... Remember that night we saw a meteor? I mumbled something.. I wished that we would be together forever & never end this game. Please don't leave me, Daniel... I love you, you cannot do this to me.

Then the clock strikes 12

Daniel's heart stop pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30th DAY...

Always love your loved ones & show them how you feel before it's too late.. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace.. If you were given a time to bestow petals of everlasting compassion & love to your love ones, today is the day. Love them while they are still here...

[prasadkm]

HAVE U EVER WONDERED?
1) If swimming is the best exercise to stay fit, why are whales fat?
2) Why is the place in a stadium where people sit called stand?
3) Why is that everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die?
4) Shall I say that there is racial discrimination in chess as the white piece is moved first?
5) In a country we have freedom of speech...then why do we have telephone bills?
Think about it!!!!

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..

Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Sardar : I was watching TV na....

90 thadava paavam senchaa 45 thadava maatipinga...!!
How?
sin 90 = cot 45

What is BE?
80GB syllabus
80MB u study
80KB u remember
80bytes u answer
binary marks u get.
Then finally u get degree BE- "Brain Empty"

Seven is an odd number. How can you make it Even?
Take away 's' from seven.

[fallen_angel0]

HAVE U EVER WONDERED?
1) If swimming is the best exercise to stay fit, why are whales fat?
2) Why is the place in a stadium where people sit called stand?
4) Shall I say that there is racial discrimination in chess as the white piece is moved first?

hahaha those were funny:jumping: . Good good keep it up.

[prasadkm]

Once Sardarji went to a hotel and he had dinner and came back!




























This time no jokes happened. SORRY!

[prasadkm]

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

MAN : You remind me of the sea....
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something, It goes in both ears and comes
out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the
same time."

[prasadkm]

Banta Singh's Letter to Bill Gates

Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we find some problems which I want to bring to your notice.

1.) After connecting to internet we plan to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in password column only ****** comes, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed comes. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. I request you to check this as ourselves we do not know what is the password.


2) There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button. We request you to check this. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' and has ran upto Amritsar. So, we request you to change that to sit so that we can click that by sitting.


3) One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.Also there is 'find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to
trace. Is it a bug??


Thanks,
Banta Singh

[prasadkm]

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard
students. As it was the
first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the
students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, Lets start with the boys first.

Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: My name is John, and my hobby is to see
"bubble" in the bathtub.

Teacher was confused to listen but said, Interesting. Well, Ok. Infact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok John.
Yes next.

Second boy: Myself Peter and my hobby is to see
"bubble" in the bathtub.

Teacher now got surprised and said, Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next.

Third boy: Im Smith and my hobby is to see "bubble"
in the bathtub.

Teacher: Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next.

This continues...
and the last boy stands up Im Harry and my hobby
is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.

Exhausted, the teacher said, I dont think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.
Anyway, now the girls please.

First girl: Im Julie and my hobby is to see birds.

Teacher: Good. At last I got something different.
Ok next.

Second girl: Im Ruby and I like to collect perfumes.

Teacher Now its like educated grown up girls. Ok next.
You sweet girl; Yes you...

Most beautiful girl of the class:
Mam, my name is BUBBLE, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day.

[prasadkm]

BCCI Board : Ganguly u are selected for 2007 World cup...
Ganguly : Dai...Enna vachi comedy..Keemedy pannaliyae

Age of Songs....
01 to 08 -------------- Anjali Anjali...
09 to 13 -------------- Enakoru Girl friend...
14 to 25 -------------- Nam Vayadhuku vanthoom...
26 to 40 -------------- Aasai 100 vagai...
41 to 50 -------------- Engae nimathi, Engae nimathi....
51 to 70 -------------- Punniyam thaed

5 frogs are sitting on a log. 4 decide to jump off. How many r left?
There r still five Left...Bcoz there is a lot of difference between deciding and doing!!

"Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
"No, who wrote it?"

Why are Egyptian's Children always confused??
Coz after death, their DADDY becomes the MUMMY.

Scientists all over the world
r wondering how long a human
being can live without a brain...
Kindly tell them ur age...

If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis and elder sis?
Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
Answer : On their Wedding !!

Seven is an odd number. How can you make it Even?
Take away s from seven.

[prasadkm]

Jokes Of Mr. Bean

1) BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bean: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!

4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

5) Marriage:
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.

6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it’s a horror film. I didn’t see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom’s dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I’m late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That’s alright, me too…I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

9) Spelling lesson:
Mr. Bean’s Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful….is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!

[prasadkm]

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
The woman replied, “A billionaire.”

A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, “I’ve found a woman just like mother!”
His father replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: “I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!”
“What happened?” asked his friend. “I got married…

I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Words to live by : Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute
First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don’t like to interrupt her.

[prasadkm]

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.

“No woman,” said one man, scornfully, “can keep a secret.”

“I would dispute that,” answered a woman guest. “I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.”

“You’ll let it out some day,” the man insisted.

“I hardly think so!” responded the lady. “When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.”

========================================

To address an emergency call a doctor came to see a rich patient at his home, who was screaming with extreme stomach pain and was surrounded by many anxious relatives. Doctor kicked all the relatives out of the room, closed the door with patient and he inside.

After a while he came out and asked, “Please give me a scissors.” People gave him a stainless steel scissors. He again went inside, closed door and came back soon. He said, “Please give me a hammer.” He got one. He repeated the routine of going inside, closing door and then coming back again for a new tool a few times.

He came outside one more time and asked, “Please give me a screw driver.” With every of his requests for surgical tools the tension amongst the relatives was mounting high. The oldest son could not hold himself, broke down and lost his patience.

In a crying voice he pleaded, “Doctor please tell us what has happened to our dear Dad. Will he live? Could we open his will?”

The doctor said, “No, I don’t know that yet. I am still trying to open my damn bag, I lost the key.”

[prasadkm]

Why there is only postMAN in India?
Bcoz postWOMAN iruntha Delivery aaga 10 maasam agum!

Man1: En ponnu konjam Kunda irruppa.
Man2: Unga ponnu name enna?
Man1: Anu
Man2: Appo "ANUKUNDU" nu sollunga.

How to analyse a cricket pitch if its batting or bowling pitch?
Its bowling poitch when India is batting and batting pitch when India is bowling.

Student: Seiyaatha visayathuku thandanai unda sir?
Sir: Kandippa kidayaathu!
Student: Ippa naan Home Work ezhuthala...Athaan kaetaen.

[prasadkm]

Now your brain will be scanned as you scroll down


























25% completed













50% completed















75% completed














100% completed




scroll down for your scan reports









































Wow!
Ur brain is a master peice. It is divided into 2 Parts....Right and Left...
In right, nothing is left...
In left, nothing is right...

[prasadkm]

You should be sure the person is Sardar when he:
• puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.
• gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
• sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
• tries to drown a fish in water.
• thinks socialism means partying.
• trips over a cordless phone.
• takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
• At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts
"Sagittarius.".
• studies for a blood test and fails.
• sells the car for gas money.
• misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
• drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and
goes home.
• gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

[prasadkm]

Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone

How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

[prasadkm]

TO LOOSE WEIGHT...
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms from home."

HEAVEN
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word

ANOTHER COUNT!
Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?" The man says,"Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out. He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay." The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87, 87"...

EMPLOYMENT?
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the
columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary
Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes

HEIGHTS OF REVENGE
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn.". He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "

CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the
sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to the sardarji. Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."

[prasadkm]

CROCODILE BOOTS
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"

LONG FLIGHT
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," comes an answer.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk:"Can I take this train to Ludhiana?". "No," answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

THE 4 SARDARJIS
There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.
The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up.
WHY ? -
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed."

After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY ?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.

After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ?
B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.

All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi.
They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldnt budge.
WHY ?
B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.

[prasadkm]

SOFTWARE HUSBAND
Husband : ( Returning late form work ) "Good evening Dear, I'm now
logged in."
Wife : Have you brought the ring ?
Husband : Bad command or filename.
Wife : But I told you in the morn...
Husband : Erroneous syntax.
Wife : What about my new blouse ?
Husband : Variable not found ...
Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied ...
Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being
funny ?
Husband : Too many parameters. Abort!...
Wife : It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband : Data type mismatch.
Wife : You are a useless nut.
Husband : Default Parameter.
Wife : What about your Salary ?
Husband : Access denied. File in use...
Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?
Husband : System unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot

[prasadkm]

ARCHER
A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"
After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
"You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.
"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."
"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service." The boy thanked him profusely."But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued, "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."
"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."

[prasadkm]

Perplexing Paradox No. 1
A crocodile caught a kid and when kid's mother came for rescue, crocodile posed her a question - 'U can make a statement. If you speak the truth in it, i will return your kid . Otherwise i will eat him.' And the mother agreed.
The clever mother made the statement - "You will eat my kid'. Now, the crocodile is in a dilemma of what to do.

Perplexing Paradox No. 2
Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fee. The student struck a deal saying ' I would pay your fee the day i win my first case in the court'.Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course.

When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, student reminded the deal and pushed days. Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.

The teacher put forward his argument saying : " If i win this case, as per the court of law, student has to pay me. And if i lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case. So either way i will have to get the money ".

Equally brilliant student argued back saying : "If i win the case, as per the court of law, i don't have to pay anything to the teacher. And if i lose the case, i don't have to pay him because i haven't won my first case yet. So either way, i am not going to pay the teacher anything ".

[prasadkm]

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks
and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.

Banta singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and atlast I wrote THUNK !!!"

Sardar gets an oppurtunity to fly to a near by country. Sardar never has been on an airplane anywhere and got so excited and tensed. As soon as he boarded the plane, a BOEING 747, started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!!BOEING....'. He forgets what's around, and even the pilot in the cock-pit could hear the noise.Annoyed by the sound, the Pilot came out and shouted 'BE SILENT!'. There was pin-drop silence every where and everybody is looking at the Sardar and the angry Pilot. Sardar starred at the Pilot in silence for a moment and all of a sudden
started shouting, 'OEING ! OEING!! OEING!!! OEING!!!...'.

Two Sardarjis went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their packets and started to eat them. 'You can't eat
your own sandwiches in here,' complained the pub-owner. So the two sardars swapped their sandwiches.

Mr. Jaswanth singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for the items. Singh asked " Where is the fat ?" ,person didn't understand what singh was saying and said " Excuse me sir, FAT???" Sardar : "Yes Fat, Give me the fat" Sardar started shouting and arguing with the person and all people gathered
and Manager of that grocery stores came there and asked sardar about the problem. Then sardar said, Hey Manager! Look, I took a yogurt from your
stores and it was written "FAT FREE" on that but this guy is not giving me the fat.

In a party one of Zail Singh's friends asked him How many chappathis he could eat in an empty stomach. Zail replied "Seven". Then his friend told him "When U eat the first chappathi your stomach is no longer empty .Then how can U eat
seven ??". Zail was impressed by this tricky question. So as soon as he went back home he asked his wife " How many chappathis can you eat in an empty stomach ??". She replied "Five". Then Zail told " ****!! If only you had told
seven I had a nice reply for it"

One day sardarji decides that he is fed up of Sardarji being called fools. So he decides to fool the others and show them that they too are fools. Our friend goes to the top of Kutubminar in delhi and peeps down from the top with a lot of interest. Somebody taps him on the back and asks, "Sardarji what r u looking" our freind replies "sssssshhhhhhh, Stand in the line.." After sometime ,somebody asks the same question to the second guy and he gives the same reply. This goes on . After a while our freind sees that the line has reached the bottom of kutubinar. So he feels very happy that he has succeeded in fooling so many people & decides to tell turn back. He does so , and... HE SEES A LINE OF SARDARJI'S ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the Examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration
takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he
is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperatley throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator,alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I finished the exam in half an hour". "But yaar", he says, " I am rechecking my answers."

[prasadkm]

Here is the unpublished paper for PEMEE (Punjab
Engineering and Medical Entrance Examination)

-PUNJAB ENGINEERING & MEDICAL ENTRANCE EXAM-

Time Limit: 3 Weeks

1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian
Empire with particular reference to
architecture, literature, law and social
conditions

-OR-

give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to (a) build
a bridge (b)sail the ocean (c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope?

(a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e)
Agnostic (check only one)

5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0
meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12
and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given?
(approximately)

8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners

9. Spell- Bush, Carter and Clinton

10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar
,the last one being Akbar the Sixth. Name
the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from? (a) Macy's (b) a
7-11 (c) Canada (d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of
Relativity? (a) yes (b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem
for what country?

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic
Equilibrium

-OR-

spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story
building located?

17. Which part of India produces the most
oranges? (a)Gujarat (b) Russia (c) Canada
(d) Pakistan

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how
many apples do you have?

19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?

20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for
efficiency began when (approximately)? (a)
B.C. (b) A.D. (c) still waiting

You must answer at least three questions correctly
to qualify.

[prasadkm]

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,"Wash Basin".

Four Sardarji's were waiting a on Railway Platform for the "Punjab Mail". As they were waiting an announcement is made about the train running late
by two hours. The train scheduled to start at 10 am will now start at 12 noon. Since there is lots of time to kill the four sardarjis decide to go out into the city to spend the time. When they get back to the station they see "Punjab Mail"
just leaving the platform.So sardarjis start running desperately to board the train.. One of them manages to catch the 6th boggie Another got almost the last boggie and the other two got left behind. When the two Sardarji 's who managed to get into the train met each other in one of the bogies they started laughing uncontrollably. They go on laughing .....laughing ....and laughing.
Now the other passengers get bit curious and one of them asked the Sardarji's .... "Arre, what's so funny ? Why are you both laughing so madly?
One of the Sardarji's managed to reply " Actually the two who were supposed to take this train got left behind......we ....just came to see them off !!!!!!!!!!"

A sardarji is standing on platform no.1 waiting for the punjab mail toarrive. There is an anouncement "Passengers to note.. Train no 234 dn Punjab mail from New Delhi will be arriving on `platform` no.1 shortly." Hearing this sardarji gets panicky..He immediately picked up his baggage, jumped on to the railway track and stood there..

Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife these days because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women..

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There
is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will
be delayed another three hours. But don't worry .. we still have one engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

Diana murder mystery solved
The latest theory is that the driver of the Mercedes, Henri Paul, was
actually a sardar whose family migrated to France when he was 3 yrs old. His name was Harvinder Singh Pal, and later he changed it to Henri Paul.
But what is in a name, after all ! Once a surd, always a surd !
And so when the Paparazzi chasing the car shouted Diana, Diana , at 80 mph , Harvinder tried to take a right turn.( daina right in hindi ...........
The rest, as they say, is history !!....................)

Two surdars go for fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to shore. The first surdar says: "I hope u remember the spot where we caught all those fish." The other answers: "Yes, I made 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot." "You idiot!" replies the first." how do u know u will get the same boat tomorrow."

The sardarji goes to the theatre to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat and when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" (What Sardarji? Are you afraid of the cinema?). Sardarji replies "Aadmihoon aur akkal
hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "( I am an intelligent(?) man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?)

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask
each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus
was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Pat came
the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.

Once, a Madrasi, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes. First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a parachute and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down. Then the Madrasi removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again
his dhoti acted as a parachute and he also floated down gently. Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately,
they did not do well as a parachute and he began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Madrasi who said - " May that ganapathi help you". Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a
race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban.

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan Singh goes walking at evening not in the morning, Sardarji replied..."arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM"

[prasadkm]

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed." Santa: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I ealised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

Sardar Banta Singh is waiting for a DTC bus on a New Delhi bus stop, he is musing over something that has bothered him for quite a while ... why does everyone make fun of us Sardars. It is so unfair. He stops a Taxi Driver Surdar and asks him the same Question, the two of them then stop an Auto Rickshaw Surd. The Question spreads like wild fire. In a Day ... Surds all over India want to know why does everyone make fun of us Sardars. They think over it and think over it, but no one can come up with a reasonable answer.
A meeting is convened at the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium where all the Intelligent Surds are invited. After an day long debate no concrete answer. Then they decide to send Banta Singh to London to look for the right answer. Banta leaves the Next Day. On arriving at Heathrow, Banta wastes no time in his search. He asks the first Gora He sees. why does everyone make fun of us Sardars.The Gora says to Banta. "Look it's very Simple, if you can answer a simple question I ask you you'll prove to me that this whole thing is just propaganda against your people by a jealous faction, but if you cant! Then you guys deserve to be a laughing stock of everyone." Banta feels his skin tingle as he says ..."Okay What is Question" "There are Three People in My family" the foreigner Explains, "The first is my Lovely Daughter Mary Anne, The Second is my Beautiful wife Sylvia. Who is that Third Person in My Family"? Banta Spews out these Answers as the Gora Keeps shaking his head.... ... "May be your dad" ... "or else may be your mom" ... "Maybe you have a Dog" ... "May be you have a cat" ... "Aunt" ... "Uncle" "Grand father" "Give up"! asks the foreigner. Banta Nods his head in defeat. "Mr. Singh, I am the third person in my Family. Now go back to India and give this knowledge to your people. If they can't answer this simple question. Tell them they are getting what they deserve" Two days later, Banta is at Center Stage (JNS) with mike in hand. He repeats the same question. "There are three people in my house. One is my daughter, the other my wife. Who is the third one ? Banta Smiles as his fellow Sardars try to answer this brain Teaser... "May be your mother" ... "Maybe you have a Dog" ... "Aunty" ... "May be your dad" ... "etc" ... "etc" 80,000 Sardars cant answer a simple question, it's time I tell them Banta Thinks. He raises his hand, the Sardars are quiet. "Give up" He asks "Give up" the Entire Stadium Replies. "The third one is " Banta screams into the microphone "that foreigner" as he points towards London.

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your
kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city play ground".
Signed, "A Sardarji". The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji ?!"

Y2K problem solved by SARDARS
Hi friends, Let us take a look at the report submitted by sardar to his manager after
completing his Y2K verification task.

**********sardar.txt**********

Dear Sir, Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives,and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all rams and all data to reflect your new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is
a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction."

Very Sincerely IQ Singh Y2K Project leader

[prasadkm]

SARDAR'S BMW
BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier. Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat. By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter. Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car without the engine." Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that."

SPARE BOMB
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now". Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?" "Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?" "You can have both of them." "OK, Five?"

SARDAR & THIEF
Santa Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight hewas too tired and dozed off with the house door open. A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him! "When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him". Banta was a hefty guy; so when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up. Then he went to the police station and reported the matter. "What did you do to the thief"? "I tied his hands; you come and collect him". "I hope you tied his legs too". Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about the legs. He sat down for a while. Then he cheered up and said, "Inspector Sab, the thief, he will still be there". "How do you know"? "Well, that fellow is also a Sardarji".

[prasadkm]

COULD ANYONE RENAME THIS THREAD TO
Jokes, Facts, Thoughts by Prasad.K.M
Thanks..

[SB@TTT]

Sure sorry for not editin the title

[prasadkm]

Sure sorry for not editin the title

Thank u very much

[|KannaN|]

lol...thank you guy.. my stomach is hurtin rite now by laughin like crazy...it's reali funnie

[Tobias]

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[prasadkm]

PROFESSOR SARDAR
Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before! As he was thinking over it, he
found a cockroach on the table in front of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach. He picked the roach and put it in the centre of
the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one leg. He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: Run". The roach could not! Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".

COLOR TV
Sardarji is buying a TV."Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure." "Give me a green one, please."

LONG FLIGHT
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" " Just a sec," comes an answer "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

Suicidal Sardar An American, an Italian and a Surd were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building... They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The Surd opened his lunch and said, "Paratha and dal again. If I get paratha and daal one more time I'm jumping too." Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps The Surd opens his lunch, sees paratha and daal and jumps to his death also... At the funeral..... The American's wife is weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef & cabbage, I never would have given it to him again! The Italian's wife also weeps and says " I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Surd's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

[prasadkm]

Surd Freedom Fighters Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh.. we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT..WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

The Train Driver One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and
then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar. When
he was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the track and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc . Then
authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have run
over that person . Sardar said : Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.

Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane. Everybody around greeted her. Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty in finding a seat. She saw our
Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting next to a vacant seat.She went up to him and introduced herself saying in her cool sexy voice, "Hi, I am Elizabeth Taylor... Liz to you." Balwinder was bewildered but immediately responded, "Hi I am Balwinder .. Balls to you."

Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked,"So? Are you afraid?" First one
replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying.The first one was astonished and asked
other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied,"I have come for my urine test."

There were these three guys, a surd, an Italian, and a Jewish guy.They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they notice that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, they'll all leave early too. The boss left and so did they. The Jewish guy goes home and goes to rest so he can get an early start. The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner. Our Banta goes home
and walks to his bedroom.... He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss..! He shuts the door and hurries out of the house! The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking and plan to go home early again. They ask Banta if he wants to leave early again and he says,"no." They ask him why not and he says, "because yesterday I almost got caught."

[prasadkm]

Thanks LIL angel...

Y do munivars have so much resistance to wordly pleasure?
Coz they constantly keep saying OHM, OHM and OHM is the unit of resistance

Sardar starts raising his bat on 36 runs. Sachin asks him..It is not a 50 or 100?... Sardar replies "only a engineering graduate can understand the importance of 36"

Sardar was travelling in a train. A woman sat on his son's BERTH & dint get up... Sardar shouted "this lady is not giving birth to my child"

Man 1: T-la start agura car name sollu?
Man 2: Toyoto..
Man 1: Unga oorla toyoto T-la thaan start agutha. Enga oorla petrol'a thaan start aagum

When u put a single dog in an empty vessel, n open the vessel after sometime many dogs come out.
How?....Bcoz empty vessel make more NAAIS.

Height of technical overdose...!!
A software professional falling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 F1 instead of help.

Question: When does GOD get angry...?
Answer: When a girl gets pregnant before marriage and her mother says "ada kadavulae ippadi pannitayae"

Mother: Namma payan enga pannam vachaalum edutharaan. Avan edukaatha edama sollunga.
Father: avanoda college book'la vai.

Patient: Doctor kaathula rail odura maathiri satham kekkuthu.
Doctor: check pannaen onnum kaekkalayae
Patient: Oru vaelai ethaavathu station'la ninrukumo...

Height of friendship:
A man committing suicide...some1 asked him for the reason...He said "My lover ran way with my friend & i cant live wothout my friend"

Teacher: Evan oruvanaal oru vishayathai matravargalukku puriya vaika mudiyalayo....avan oru muttal....purigiratha?
Students: puriyala sir.

Mickey and Donald were fighting Donald got furious & hanged mickey on the wall. Mickey started writing "Ramayan"
Why?? coz he became "wallmickey"

Principal: Namma college'la sumaara ethana girls irrupaanga?
Student: Namma college'la ella girlsumae sumaraathaan sir irrupaanga.

Hey hey hey...aadavan kettavannuku 1000 beedi kuduppan aana theepeti kuduka maatan...Nallavannuku oru KINGS kudupaan athayum patha vachu kudupaan

Police: Unnaku nalai kaalai 5 manniku thooku thandanai.
Sardar: ha ha ha
Police: en sirikira?
Sardar: Aiyo aiyo naan endirikarthae 6 manikku thaan

Best 3 comedy lines in college life:
* dont disturb, I wanna study.
* No class....lets go to the library
& the best 1 is.....
* sir i have a doubt.